No one really knows what they’re doing right now. Rules and expectations have gone out the window as we try to adjust to this new “normal” where nothing seems stable and there isn’t a clear end in sight. In situations like this, my classic response is control. I want to pull all of the pieces together and create an immovable structure that will stand up against everything that is constantly in flux.

But I forgot to eat dinner the other night. And there have been days when I didn’t really eat lunch. I doubled up on my coffee consumption several days this week.

I stared at a computer for a solid 10 hours on Friday…and most of the days before that. Most of that has been for work because if I stop working, then I have to find somewhere else to focus my brain. Besides the way the world is coming to an end.

I’ve cried at more stupid TV shows than I care to admit. And I’ve watched more stupid TV shows than I care to admit. And don’t even get me started on the stupid block game I keep playing on my phone.

And I said that I would run every other day, but after sliding halfway down a surprisingly snowy/slushy mountain on Saturday, my body completely rejected that as an option on Sunday. I have a very impressive bruise if you need proof.

It feels like I’m completely failing at this. At self-isolation. At productivity. At taking care of myself. At taking care of others. At following rules. At knowing what’s best.

But here’s the thing – there isn’t a “best” or a “worst” way to do this. We haven’t been here before and I’ve never tried to live this life. Waking up and trying again each and every day should count for something.

So instead of beating myself up for not doing all of the things on my million checklists, I’m choosing to have grace. I am allowed to curl up in bed and watch stupid TV shows all morning and then eat a pint of ice cream for dinner. I am allowed to try to read five books at the same time and try a dozen different sourdough recipes in one week. I am allowed to put some goals on the back-burner and focus on developing skills in other areas. And I am also allowed to just take a deep breath and remind myself that I don’t have to wash my hair every day…or every week (sorry, Aunt Sara).

And this goes beyond me! The world is crazy…and we all deserve a little grace right now.

Those folks who turned around 1/4 mile from the top of the trail because they got sketched out by the ice. It’s not necessarily that they didn’t plan or prepare…they’re trying to make the best of life circumstances. And we can laugh about that together

The parent of a preschooler who sends a dozen emails because they’ve forgotten how to parent?? They didn’t forget how to parent. They just want their kid to have fun and be healthy…and in the current situation, that seems too big and impossible and they feel alone in that goal.

The new guy who just moved into the house and has to quarantine for two weeks because he moved from out of state. And every time I go downstairs to cook something, he sits there and talks to me the entire time. It’s my nightmare, but I can let the conversation go for a little while…giving him some much-needed human contact.

And then there’s the cat that views me as a personal pincushion/pillow and refuses to let me work alone. I’m not really sure how he fits in to all of this…

The point is…grace. We all need it and we can all share it because none of us will get all of this completely right. We can learn together.